Friday, May 27, 2011

i just realised that the past posts (quite a number of them :s) were negativity. he reminded me of my character this morning: optimistic.

i was totally ashamed by my actions, totally disturbed about the change. i am, very surprised, that something as simple as this can change a person inside out. no one will ever think that even the slightest thing can change a person's character or personality, am i right? or you may think yes, but it will not happen to you as you think that you can control yourself and maintain that personality of yours. easy to say it, difficult to execute. as the saying goes, "easy to climb, difficult to maintain" - this applies to almost everything.

his words struck me hard. it was a wake up call, literally. the whole text just brought me up from where i had fallen. although he wasnt able to be here, he made the effort to maintain his presence around me despite his fatigue. he constantly reminded me that he couldnt be by my side, but he can be with me "spiritually". something in me lit. i had no idea what to call that, or what you would call that, but it was something that would enable you to continue and strive.

that's the thing i love about him. he always helps me, somehow. i cant expect more from him when he gives me more than expected. he enabled me to realise that i dont have to get a handsome guy, with a wealthy family and a good education status to be loved for. in fact, think, you may get the most handsome guy on earth, with a family of status and top-notch education and career but not the love. with him around, i do feel love from him, sometimes too overwhelming but endearing. haha.

i am also shocked to hear that someone else still reads my blog now and then. i do know of one person who reads, others whom i name anonymous will definitely be unknown to me but you, have seriously 'stunned' me for a moment. never have i thought that this lonesome place will have visitors, next to its owner. im honoured to have you read my posts.

awkward ending cause im pressing for time.

i've got a rehearsal till 10pm and i am honestly drained. 1.5hrs of ________ seriously gives one nothing but a headache and dreamy eyes = sucks.

cheerios (:

this shall mark my first happy post, although it doesnt seem too happy nor even happy. but at least not ):


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